Friday, July 22, 2016

The Demented Rapist Version of a Living Picasso Painting

So this person who enjoys crossdressing sent me a message on messenger recently.

Before I begin I'm not one of these idiot trans* women who exclude crossdressers for the sake of creating yet more division or the premise that they somehow tarnish who I am. Ultimately  whatever makes you happy has no affect on me unless you directly affect me negatively then I'll deem you an asshole and will let you know it and move on.

So... This person sends me a message saying "Hi". I reply "Hey, how are you?" To the reply "feeling sexy after seeing your photos." Then sends 4 photos of themselves sitting in some gaudy computer chair with a g string and their cock and balls hanging out the side. 

Before I could reply the next message was "You like?" Well nothing pleases me more than somebody thoughtful enough to provide an unsolicited David Lynch inspired equivalent of the Eraserhead baby upon my eyes with the expectations of Mutley the dog wanting a medal from "Catch the Pigeon." I was deeply touched.

So I responded "Oh wow that's exactly the pick me up I needed tonight. Thankyou for filling my required quota of repulsive overweight elderly privileged weekend wookie men who's self worth is so little that they somehow believes throwing on a tacky g string along with that garish blue eye shadow makes you look less idiotic because we are a part of some sisterhood of cock lovers."

To drive the message home I added "Clearly it wasn't working for you without the rodeo clown costume you attribute to creating the illusion of a women. How many times has this method worked? You do realise that you are immediately displaying that you value your personality and self respect so little that a flaccid piece of skin that's soul purpose to urinate and ejaculate is your icebreaker towards people you find attractive? It's little wonder the majority of your Facebook posts consist of asking if anybody wants to hang out and that you need sex and those adorable quizzes on how girly you are. All to which completely void of any likes or comments because everybody thinks your are your introduction statement.... A DICK!"

Now if somebody burned me like that I just would have logged off the internet forever. But not this man he replied with "I found your profile on xhamster then google matched your photos because your name wasn't listed to find you on Facebook because you didn't reply to my 15 messages on xhamster."

I was just about to click the block button and couldn't resist responding. "Oh now I feel terrible. I just checked my xhamster you were the guy who's profile pic was a close up of your hardon in panties that shamelessly exhibited dry cum stains for all the world to see. Then somehow you assumed 15 unanswered HI's meant I may as well dabble in some online stalking into my already overflowing bag of put the fucking lotion in the basket tricks. To reach the irresistible cherry on top moment of presenting me your lifeless knob like a Death Star tractor beam."

Amazingly he replied "Yes. Sorry I didn't mean to offend you but your photos and videos were so sexy I assumed that would be the best way to start a conversation." 

Remember this is in no way targeted at crossdressers. This is in my opinion the extreme example of why men struggle to understand women, inevitably keeping prostitution as a lucrative career option for women the world over. Obviously there was no way of educating this dumb fuck so I decided to close the interaction with...

"Ok well it seems at some point your frontal lobe was removed whilst you were existing on some other planet but I want to leave you with some advice for your future development. Hopefully going forward when you approach your next potential online victim. Quickly run through these 3 points before typing and sending you incredibly realistic photo describing you as a DICK."

1. How would your mother react to this interaction? The answer is the same as every other woman.... Total disgust!

2. How successful has this method been compared to unsuccessful over your entire lifespan?

3. How many women have you witnessed in your lifetime that look anything like the demented rapist version of a living Picasso painting you are presenting as what I assume is a woman? The only place your look should ever be displayed is in a cheap frame and hung over a fireplace to keep children away."

"If after considering all 3 of these points you still go ahead with the current plan, one can only describe as the equivalent a window licker. Please proceed to empty the entire contents from a bottle of bleach into your digestive system because the only person you actually have a slight chance of attracting is a corpse."

I then proceeded to move towards the block button and just before I clicked received his final parting words....

"So does this mean we can't be friends? Fuck you bitch! I don't need a fucking ungrateful Whore like you anyway!"

Damn I was close to clicking that button... Ok one more response...

"The thing that is hilarious to myself and all my friends who hear about this exchange. You know deep within yourself it cannot be denied no matter how much you pretend. The un disputable fact that you DO need a whore like me and every other woman you have pestered or paid for sex and affection throughout your empty life. Because deep down inside you are reminded everyday as society barely acknowledges your existence. Just how invisible and valueless you are that you have accepted and will forever let a photo of your barely used non functioning cock to sum up your entire life. As a parting piece of advice please ensure you indicate on your will to have a photo of your cock etched on your tombstone to continue informing the tumbleweeds that wont attend your funeral as a shrine for the future of mankind and a shining example of how NOT TO BE A MAN OR A MAN POSING AS A WOMAN MODELLED FROM A RODEO CLOWN! Good day to you sir your non participation in procreation will be greatly applauded by humanity. You are the weakest link. Goodbye"

Blocked!

20 minutes later I received a message on xhamster from him saying "I think we got off on the wrong foot. It's not my fault I was so amazed by your beautiful photos."

Blocked!


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